Update 4/13/14

Published April 13, 2014 by BigMommaRei

Hello friends.  I’m sorry I haven’t updated in a long time.  So without further ado, here’s what’s going on.  I had my reconstructive surgery and it was successful.  With my recent scans, we have found several lesions on different areas of bone in my body, primarily on my right hip and tailbone.  We will be treating these with radiation starting soon.  I’m also on Arimidex to help keep the estrogen at bay and may start a bone strengthening treatment if my dentist approves.  The Sons of Italy is graciously hosting a benefit for me in June.  It should be June 28th and 29th.  It will be a two day event with bands, 50/50 raffle, Chinese auction, bake sale, and poker run.  Anyone wishing to volunteer time or items for the auction and/or raffle, please let me know.  Any bands interested in playing (I’ve heard from one), please let me know that as well.  Any business who donates gets advertising space on the program or they can buy some.  This should be quite the event.  I’ll be guest bartending the 28th at the least.  I appreciate the continued help and support during a trying time.  Thank you so much everyone.  I’ll try to update more often.  Love you guys!  Namaste.

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Round Two?

Published November 21, 2013 by BigMommaRei

Hello, friends.  I went to the doctor’s today and there is news.  In my last bone scan the doctor found a suspicious mass in my ribs.  He did not say that it is definitely cancer but is going to treat it as such.  I can still have my reconstruction as scheduled.  Afterwards I will have a chest x-ray to keep an eye on things.  I will start anti-estrogen and bone strengthening medications, which is the treatment that the Dr. wants to start with for the metastasis.  Unfortunately, where the suspicious mass is cannot be biopsied to know for certain if it is cancer or not.  But the doctor is treating it as though it were and we will watch and move on from there.  So far there is no reason to worry.  I will keep everyone updated as I know more.  At this point I’m just going to have my reconstruction and hope that these new medications help.  Thank you for your continued support and love.

New Boobs and a Tummy Tuck

Published October 11, 2013 by BigMommaRei

Hello, friends!  I have an exciting update.  I have scheduled reconstructive surgery for December 6th.  For those who are curious, I have opted for the technique referred to as a TRAM flap procedure.  This is where they take skin and tissue from the abdomen to reconstruct the breasts.  I feel this is most beneficial because the breasts will still be made of my own tissue and not for nothing, I get a tummy tuck.  In the words of Charlie Sheen, “Duh, winning”.  This means a few other things as well.  I’m going to be out of commission for a while.  We (Tony and I) are also going to need help with Ian.  I will not be able to be alone with him as I will not have the strength to take care of him.  In fact I will be staying the initial healing time at my mother’s house.  We will need someone to help get him ready for school in the morning and get him on the bus which arrives between 8:24 and 8:30.  This person would have to be at the house by 7, however, to make sure Tony can get to work on time.  We will also need all day babysitting over Christmas break on the days that Tony works.  There may be days that I can be there (after my drains are out) but I would still need someone there with me to tend to the boy.  I am posting this now in hopes that people will start considering ways to help in this matter.  I’d like to have all of my ducks in a row well before the beginning of December.  I am excited about this surgery and also a little terrified.  It will be good, though.  I am optimistic.  I appreciate all of the love and support that has been given and that we continue to receive.  So, again, if anyone would like to help in any way during this time, please let me know.  We appreciate and love you guys so much!  Thank you!

Yay!  I’m excited!

Big Momma Rei

Bye bye gallbladder, a brief update.

Published August 9, 2013 by BigMommaRei

Hello, friends!  Today is Friday, as of yesterday my gallbladder and I parted ways.  I feel fine, better than expected honestly.  I’m sure the script of vicodin the doctor gave me is helping.  I’m feeling better in many ways today.  Tony and I talking about everything has been a huge help.  I feel more comfortable sharing now that there aren’t as many expectations (or perceived expectations).  I’ve been a bit up and down.  My psychiatrist says that’s normal.  I’m hoping things will eventually reach some sort of normal.  I return to work on Tuesday.  Wish me luck.  Love you bunches.
Big Momma Rei

What’s going on in August of 2013?

Published August 3, 2013 by BigMommaRei

Good morning, friends!  It has been a long time indeed.  There have been changes and quite a bit going on in my life.  Today’s post will be getting everyone, who wants to know, caught up.
So, I Iooked and my last post was early April.  It is now early August.  August 3rd to be exact.  On August 8th, I am scheduled to have my gallbladder out.  For realsies this time.  Again, for those who don’t know, I’ve had this scheduled several times before and life keeps on getting in the way.  This Thursday I will finally have it out and hopefully begin experiencing some relief as a result.
The biggest change came in late April when my husband and I seperated and I moved out.  This has been both emotionally and physically draining and difficult for all involved.  We are still seeing a councelor.  The biggest problem to our marriage in fact has nothing to do with him or any wrong doing, but with something I should have owned up to a long time ago.  The fact of the matter is, I’m gay.  I’m sure this is of little to no shock to anyone reading this.  Anyone I’ve mentioned this to was just like, “well yeah”.  As if to suggest a lack of surprise and an air of already knowing.  In many ways, it has made things marginally easier. 
The fact is though, I am still a failure.  I fail everything I try to do.  I still haven’t graduated college.  I don’t have my cosmetology license.  I’m missing work due to the previously mentioned gallbladder problems and am terrified I may get fired.  I feel like a failure as a mother most of the time.  I sometimes feel like if I had been a consistantly better mother that maybe Ian’s life would be a little easier and better.  Maybe he wouldn’t have the problems he has if I could grow up and get over myself.
So where do I go from here?  The good news is, I saw my oncologist this week and am still in remission.  Because of the trauma caused to my body by my gallbladder he still wants to wait to start the tomoxofin.  Or however you spell it.  Then I’ll be on that for the next 3-5 years.  With the way things have been going, who knows what will be going on by then.
I have so many questions that noone can answer.  There are so many things I just don’t understand.  I’m sure everyone has similar questions for their own lives.  Everyone wants to know the why’s.  Why did this happen, why did that happen.  Why did it have to happen a certain way and not another way.  Why was I stricken down with this life altering disease and forced to survive it only to have the rest of my life fall apart?  You know, the usual.
Anyway…….  I’ve been working at Liberty Mutual.  They have been gracious enough to give me time off for my surgery.  I will call or stop by on Monday to discuss when I can return.  I cannot thank everyone there enough for being so understanding of my many medical problems.  Not all jobs would even care to hear it, let alone be accomodating.  If I do get fired, I totally understand.
So, this is my life.  I spend as much time as possible with my son (the love of my life), I’m working on my health, and I’m just plain working.  I will try to update this more often if anyone is interested.  Also, feel free to contact me anytime, either on here or irl.  I love to chat.  Big kisses for everyone!  Love you muches!
Big Momma Rei

No Body Shaming Allowed.

Published April 14, 2013 by BigMommaRei

Hello friends.  Sorry it’s been so long.  So today’s topic is about being fat.  My best friend is a bigger girl (as am I) and has been having a lot of insecurities about herself.  It breaks my heart.  Why do we as a society have to put so much hate on people’s weight.  

Too fat……

Image

too thin……….

Image

 

Who are we to judge?  Why is so much emphasis placed on body mass?  And why do we give into it?  I do it myself.  I hate my body.  Why can’t we all learn to just accept ourselves and others as we are?  I do not see a point in body shaming, I really don’t.  Everyone I know is beautiful.  Different and beautiful.  Don’t get me wrong.  As I stated, I hate my own body.  I’m trying to work out daily and started back to work which will hopefully help keep me more active.  I don’t care about numbers.  Size, weight, none of that matters.  As long as I feel good and can keep up with my son, then all is well.  You can be healthy at any size.  Don’t hate people on the other side of the scale.  We need to start accepting others and ourselves more.  In the words of the legendary Beatles, “love is all you need”.  And I love you guys.  Talk to you soon.

It’s Almost April: An Update

Published March 25, 2013 by BigMommaRei

Hello, friends!  Well, it’s almost here.  March 22nd, 2012 I found a lump.  March 23rd, I had my first mammogram, and April 4th I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  Therefor, it has almost been a year since my diagnosis.  So where am I now?

you_are_here_galaxy

Let’s start with my physical health.  As of February, I am in remission.  I saw the medical oncologist Friday.  We are going to continue to wait to start my tomoxofen treatments.  Due to some pain in my back and elevated liver enzymes, he has ordered a chest x-ray, liver ultrasound, and bone scan.  He wants to make sure he knows fully what is going on in my body before he adds more medications.

Psychiatric health is a little less positive.  I’ve been incredibly depressed and anxious.  The anxiety may be worse though.  On days that I do not take in any caffeine, I feel as though I may vibrate out of my body.  I will be meeting with my psychiatrist on Thursday.

Enough about me though.  We are getting Ian set up for kindergarten.  We are also making arrangements for him to have a wrap around.  I feel this will be incredibly beneficial for him.  I would like him to get as much as possible out of this schooling.

I guess that’s about it for now.  Feel free to comment or ask questions and please do not forget about our fundraiser.

http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/Adventures-Through-Cancer-Land/46926

Much Love,

Big Momma Rei

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